A letter to 15-year old me

A letter to 15-year old me.

My love,

I wanted to start with “It’s so odd to be writing to you!” but it’s actually not so scratch that,  you are me. You are 15-year old me. Here is a letter to 15-year old me. It is through you – your lens, your eyes, your views, your thoughts, your experiences – good and bad – and your beautiful smile that I see me; that I am who I am today. You’re an amazing young lady for sure.

That phrase “amazing young lady” troubles you. It felt loaded – trust me it still does – and I’m sorry you didn’t quite have the space and tools to process that then. What should just be a compliment that encourages you became the start of an obsession with the desire for perfection in all things. It makes sense but it hasn’t served you well. That brings me to why I am here today. “Girl, you are enough. Stop stressing, classic overthinker you.” In my letter to 15-year old me, that just had to be made clear.

Dispelling the myth, a little bit

I know you see the brokenness of the world and wonder how you can make it better. The burden of that weighs so heavily on you, you feel paralyzed. And, you hate that you feel that way because “what a privilege it is to feel that when in fact some people’s realities are filled with less, deprivation and scarcity.” I get it, it’s a little extreme but I get it.

What I would suggest you do with all those emotions is to ask yourself more “why” than “what”.

I know, it sounds like more thinking. But if there is one thing I know about you, you have a deep founded compassion for people and trust me when I tell you that when you understand why you want to do something, there is no stopping you. I’ve seen you so successful when driven by a strong “why” in other areas of your life, its beautiful Noelle. It truly is.

What about the “how” and the “what”? Don’t stress about that. What I have found is people buy into visions and things that sit well with their soul. If you are able to understand and speak to the humanity behind a lot of these issues, people will carry this mantle with you so easily.

Once you start to gain a better understanding of why you think the way you do, your “what” will come easy.

A letter to 15-year old me and the plight of looking to “the adults“

I cannot write a letter to 15-year old me without mentioning this. The notion that adults “know it all” or “know better” is not as true as you have taken it to be. Crazy, I know! They are really just bigger versions of you trying to figure it out too. We live in a world where as your body changes with age, we assume an automatic knowledge and wisdom about the ways of life but it’s not always true. I am not saying don’t listen to adults; what I am saying my love is that you need not always default “rightness” to adults. Explore ideas a bit more, form your own opinions, be ok with getting it wrong, and question the “why” around a lot of the answers you get or find. And no, it’s no disrespectful. So, to 15-year old me, I just need you to trust yourself a bit more. Ok girl?

Doing you

One of the things that bothers you so much is how the world works – or how you perceive it to. The solutions that seem to be shoved in your face appear face value to you. They don’t last, they don’t seem to move the needle, and they don’t seem that inclusive. What you want is to be part of an alternate solution that not just provides but empowers and facilitates communities to do better – to do right by themselves and for themselves. More often than not, the people you claim you want to help know what to do, they may just need some assistance connecting the dots. To do that, you need to listen and engage with them. Engage in a way that respects their views and also challenges them to think further than their circumstances. Be vulnerable and most importantly, allow vulnerability.

Dear one – in this letter to 15-year old me – do not let the burden of “making Africa great” fall entirely on your shoulders, it’s quite big an ask on yourself.

What I have garnered so far from the world is that you are likely to have a significant impact focusing on one solution at a time – petit a petit. There is time to do enough if you are committed to excelling in the task in front of you. As you complete one, so shall you the next. Trying to do it all at the same time doesn’t always allow you the depth, impact and fulfilment that is necessary for success. so to 15-year old me, take it easy 🙂

How others did it

I don’t believe you have heard of Mo Ibrahim yet; he is a pretty great businessman – a problem solver and rich for that.

Look him up and read the story of how he got Celtel going. He literally took a technology that worked elsewhere, modified it to fit the African context, prioritised accessibility and affordability, and changed the lives of millions of people. That’s how he did it and that my dear is innovation.

Oh, that thing you say about not being innovative, that’s not true by the way. You understand that a little later on but I think it important to liberate yourself from that mentality today. It would serve 15-year old you well for sure. You are actually mighty innovative in your thoughts and actions so don’t be convinced by any opposing tale of that nature, it’s a lie.

I have so much to say to in my letter to 15-year old me but…

I want to say so much more but I don’t want to overwhelm you; neither do i want to offer a blueprint. I know how you move sometimes.

There’s so much I would like you to go deeper in and others I pray you do let go of. You’ve been caught in the “appear good and in control” so much that you are always looking to move the slab one step ahead of you so you are always “ok”. What that has done though is it’s kept your eyes very narrowly focused on nothing but survival. There is so much more to life and I hope you open up to exploring and experiencing it all.

Here are a few things to consider:

• Read more – it helps with grammar, expands your creativity and imagination, and it brings you joy.
• Let go of the weight and choose freedom – it probably sounds strange, but it is a choice and your responsibility to choose to thrive. Practice making that choice over and over again, it’s worth it. When it feels hard, try harder.
• Explore your surroundings – there is so much to be learnt from the experiences of those around you – no matter how they are presented. Use your quiet strength and listening ear to serve those around you.
• Do things for the heck of it – it’s not always plan everything, sometimes just do for doing sake because heck, play is important, even in adulthood.

And in all these things, remember the people, the faces, the stories, the scents, the visuals, the activities – those, it turns out are the beauty of life.

PS: You don’t need the boys right now. Treasure your heart and for now focus on understanding the Bible – not quoting it or reciting it, understanding it. All else will fall into place. I love you girl, I really do. Thank you for giving me the person I am today. You did well with what you had and knew. You are a star, and that’s on God.

Thanks so much for reading friends! 15-year old me is grateful and so is older me! Check out some old but goodies here, here, and here. Yes, the element of surprise 😉

What am I watching? That’s light, the question is what I’m obsessed with now. Here you go and dont judge me!

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Noelle Wonders

Marie-Noelle is the creator and curator of Noelle Wonders - a blog created to pose questions, exchange ideas, explore power asymmetries, and humanize topics around growth and development.

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